Ladies: The Truth About Men and What They Really Want In A Women!!!

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Women often tell me that men confuse them and that they are unsure what a man is really looking for. They have tried to please them in the past and it hasn’t worked.

Okay so what is a man seeking?

  • First of all a man is seeking a love-interest. This may surprise many women but men like to love and they like being loved in return. The problem is that many women come across as impassioned and cold. It is not easy to find a loving woman and it is very noticeable how many men try and hang on when they think they have found their Miss Right.
  • Men are seeking a woman who is attractive to them. Women may despair that men can be so shallow and that looks could matter so much but be careful. Men aren’t necessarily looking for a catwalk model and many men don’t like women who weigh 80lbs. But men do want a woman who takes pride in their appearance (though not excessively). Men are proud of having a girlfriend who looks good and I don’t believe any man who says otherwise.
  • Men are looking for a trustworthy girl, someone they can have faith in and someone who will be there for them. This may sound like an odd thing to say, but the fact is, some women are not trustworthy and many are not faithful either. So many in fact that men are increasingly wary. That kiss at a Christmas party may not count, or the flirtatious behavior with the gorgeous barman and in fact its all great fun and part of a woman’s character. But reverse the situation and as a woman, you hate him doing the same. A man can never forgive a woman being unfaithful and so he is looking for someone who he really does trust.
  • Men want to make a home eventually and are looking for a woman who will be a willing sharer in home life. Women with a sociable lifestyle are attractive because they can be relied upon to keep the social diary running in a long term relationship.
  • Men are seeking women who are feminine gentle and kind because deep down the qualities that make a woman a great mother are an attraction in themselves. I am not suggesting that the man himself needs mothering, though some do, it is more the point that men seek the attributes in women that point to someone who would make a great mother to future offspring.
  • Men want women with a great sense of humor. Women often come across as uptight or too bothered by too many small details. You will sometimes hear mention of a girl who is ‘one of the boys’. What this means is that she is able to fit in with their humor and is sociable and fun to be with. Such women are extremely attractive to many men. Men want to have a good time and relax when not working and so their ideal partners are women who are able to do the same.
  • Men are looking for women who retain their femininity and and are caring and kind. In recent years, aping men may be a female fashion statement, but it doesn’t make them attractive. Whilst every woman in the world burps and farts and has the right to drink pints of beer, it doesn’t necessarily attract them to the opposite sex. Women can get angry and say well men will just have to get used to it, but the issue is that they don’t. They can just choose not to go for women who act in the same way as their drinking buddies.
  • Men want someone who is supportive. Many women are quick to criticize men in their behavior, career and set about trying to alter them and mould them. This is a crucial mistake. Men can be manipulated yes, but they see their partnerships as support systems. The best relationships work both ways in terms of support. Where a woman is not able or willing to give that support and is too quick to criticize then she may lose her man.
  • Men don’t like angry women who shout. They want a woman who can debate and converse and is able to discuss. Communication is king. A fiery passionate temperament may have made you interesting and challenging on day one. But by day 500 it holds no glory whatsoever.
  • Men love a challenging woman, someone who keeps them on their toes. Men are generally lazy in relationships once they feel they’re in secure territory. When a man is challenged so he does something about it. If you want to keep your man interested, keep him challenged.
  • Men are generally more reserved about sex than women. This is my experience is a fact. Men know what they like in bed and tend to stick to it. The adventurous sexual appetite in most men isn’t there even if they are convinced it is. Men in reality are quite conservative. Sexually adventurous has nothing to do with having lots of partners and more to do with the things they will try with the same partner. In most test cases I have conducted, it is the man who looks for a quiet time in the bedroom and the woman who ultimately becomes bored.
  • Men want a woman who will commit to them. Though increasingly this is hard to find, it doesn’t take away the wish. Men want a girlfriend who they can share with and trust and be open with. Commitment is not a one way street and therefore men are struggling to find the levels of commitment they found previously. But the need is still there.
  • Men don’t want to be alone.

This column can easily fire a great debate and I may be accused of being completely wrong but that is the beauty of opinions. We all have them. The fact is, a modern man is seeking a reliable, sexy, single girl with whom he can have a long term relationship with. He wants to have fun, share his life and ultimately settle down. There are a few long term bachelors but not that many. The problem guys have is that the world has changed. They don’t necessarily want to have children and settle down straight away, but it will come. They do seek self-respect even if they are not the primary breadwinner and they seek respect from their partner.
As for me, I still haven’t found “Mr Right,” and I wish he would come around and sweep me in his arms, but till then, I will keep my head up and remember that the next guy that comes around that “tickles my fancy,” I will keep this in mind. 🙂

19 thoughts on “Ladies: The Truth About Men and What They Really Want In A Women!!!

  1. Why, oh why can’t women figure this out? I don’t know you from Adam’s housecat, but you have obviously given this a great deal of intelligent thought. Too bad you aren’t in the South! After a particularly ugly relationship implosion, I created the list below:
    The Perfect woman…

    either lives in or longs for the South
    Has a well-developed sense of humor
    willing to work physically hard when needed
    Enjoys good food
    Enjoy a drink out (or in for that matter)
    Adventurous (Hey, lets go to ________ for the night, weekend, week, month, etc)
    Camping, Hiking and “roughing it”
    Enjoy traveling locally and abroad
    Educated and enjoy learning new things
    Appreciate the importance of, and loyalty to the family
    Enjoy various music types
    Understand and appreciate farms and farm animals
    Be healthy, but not afraid to eat fried chicken!
    Like nice clothes (yup, pretty lingerie included) and own “horse clothes” as well. Hopefully you have the wisdom to know when to wear what when.
    Please, please, please, be OPINIONATED, and not afraid to call bullshit
    But be nice to most everyone
    Not suffer from depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia (a little crazy is fine!)
    Laugh a lot
    Be able to be trusted
    Not need a “man” in your life

  2. Well, you are absoloutly right.
    Unfortunately we can shortcut all of what u’ve said in one sentence which is :”Men want perfect women”!!

    They want us to be smart,funny,sexy,supportive,calm ,like to discuss issues without ricklesness,beautiful in a way or another and so on so forth ! We just can’t be everything..we are human beingz for god sake; have our own positive and negaive sides …The only MIRACLE that lets us free is LOVE.If you really fall in love with a person regardless the sex ,you will deny being angry or not that beautiful’s LOVE…so we just need to stop thinking about pleasing men or trying to change ourselves to keep a man nearby coz simply if we really do that,we’ll hardly recognise ourselves and manipulate the nature of “I”…oh,and we also need to take into a sight that we don’t need to find love,love findz us..!

    At the end,if what we need is a life road which is operated by God and original- life system ,we shouldn’t seek for perfection as it’s never and will never be here..JUST GO AND LOVE EACH OTHER,love person’s stupidity,silliness,anger everything…fall in love and keep falling no matter what the person is as long as he is kind and really understands your essence..

  3. I am 68 years old with a wife and a daughter. All my life I have been promiscuous not finding a soul mate. Men are like lions. They cooperate with other men for a task otherwise they are competitors. Even his brother, a man, is his competitor. His woman is his friend, confidant, soul mate, sex partner and more. Women have friends, sisters, mothers and daughters whom they confide, seek advice, chat. They love clothes, shoes, jewellry and looking at themselves. Once she bears a baby, all her energies are for it. Men are secondry to them. When a man falls in love, he paints, writes poetry and does stupid thing. Women, actually, never fall in love with a man. There are no real examples of female Mark Antony/Cleopatra or Edward VIII/Mrs. Wilson. .

  4. Hi there!!!

    I really think you are on to something there!!! I’m a 27 year old male from Cape Town ( Single). I have been in and out relationships my hole life! My last relationship lasted 7 months. It was a good, hectic but comforting relationship with a exciting girl. We had our problems and it did not work out! DUH..

    The one before Her was with a very long 6 year relationship. It went great for the first year. Then i moved in with her. Now i know you thinking ” Bad Move”. But it was great!!! She was great. Everything was perfect! She loved me and i loved her very much. She loved my parents and i loved her parents! We had no issues. So everything was just great!

    Everyone always thought we would live together, have Kids etc.

    Then thing got weird!! She got very lazy. I had to work, get home clean the house, look after our dog, clean the yard ( FARM) , and and and!!! Now for the first 2 years we stayed together it was great and i don’t mind helping out! Always looked after her! I ran the money in the house and she spent it!! If she needed something, She got it!

    Money became a small problem. I worked, Cleaned , ran after her like mad! Not that she did nothing and i wanna make her the bad person. She still did washing. Ya that’s all! Things became distant. She would go out with friends till 3 – 4 am and i would not sleep. I think she had a thing with her best friend’s brother while we where together.. Don’t ask!!! I just Know!! We have our ways and she is now with him! So ya ,i can count( SA JOKE!!!)

    What i think i am trying to say is that now i am single, I dont have Much Female friends due to HER not wanting me to have them! Going out too a club does not work here! Girls just want you to pay for there drinks. I dont like dating sites. So Scrap that!!

    I’m a good looking, fit guy that loves making people laugh. I have a deep side, like most guys have! Pleasing a lady is my specialty. In every way she wants! I dont have allot of money but i have a good job that i enjoy! I drive a nice car! I have what i worked for. Unfortunately i have allot of debt due to the life style i wanted to provide to my Girlfriend. ( I think that is also a huge problem with most girls! Not all of them tho!

    What do i do now? I have a problem with finding the right one! I know she is out there. ( So everyone tells me) . But its like you say! We dont want to be alone!! I have so much love to give, and all i want in return is love, trust, respect, fun and a great looking girl! ( attraction is a big deal both ways!

    Where do i start? I dont want a rebound!!! I want a girl that i can say, This is my best friend!!

    I think thats all we really want in life… A best friend!



    1. your love life is right is in the corner, don’t give up.
      I’ve been in a relationship with a guy who is always skint, he got a good job but he is always skint due to mortgage payment and bills.Im trying my best to help him in my own ways but I think my own way is not yet enough for him. I bought him a scooter worth £2,200 because I agreed on his terms that he will upgrade it and sell it in due time and he will give me back my money. I paid for his car MOT and extra tires because he said he will pay but until now never been paid. Most of our meals outside is mine to pay. And when we are in the shop he is giving me signals that he wants this and sometimes he get get things and Im going to pay it though its not that expensive but sometimes it’s getting on my nerves. Im with him for just 5 months.

  5. “Unfortunately we can shortcut all of what u’ve said in one sentence which is :”Men want perfect women”!!

    They want us to be smart,funny,sexy,supportive,calm ,like to discuss issues without ricklesness,beautiful in a way or another and so on so forth ! We just can’t be everything”

    I beg to differ, actually. I’m generally humble and don’t like to brag, HOWEVER, I will say that I try. It’s really not hard for a woman to put on some make up and nice clothes with nice perfume in the morning. Anger/yelling is ALWAYS a choice. I’m not a size 0, I’m a size 5. I honestly wish I was thinner because society tells me so, but guys still date me and am fine with me. I will not look after and mother my boyfriend, but I will be nice to him, cook him dinner, warm up his towel for him when he’s in the shower, etc…The little things matter. I want to be sought after. I want to be lovely. And I think that when you’re happy and feeling beautiful, it radiates off of you and on to other people.
    This list is easily attainable. It’s not asking us to go above and beyond. In my opinion, every woman should be this way.

    But, with that said, the man has to pull his own weight too.

  6. I think men want a woman who can undrestand him first of all!than give him love and take care of him!..and the most IMportant thing for them Ther Need Their Own Space…!

  7. thing is though … i met a guy on a dating site we went on a date got on really well and texting each other ect.. but i dont have a clue to how he felt about me and if he wants to see me again the waiting game can be painfull… maybe i will give up . weve flirted since texted .. and all seems nice but no mention of feelings .. i believe its because his ex treated him bed and i dont work so he thinks i will be the same ..but im not oh well gonna give up and maybe lost the chance a real love. because he wont open up and i dont want to seem like a bunny boiler hah!

  8. Thanks to all your comments…. Everything happens for a reason though. Just do your best , live and keep loving ’till you find your — Mr. Right or Miss Right…. Whether you’re a “he” or “she” — just be your best … surely, in time you’ll find him/her. Well, sometimes life could be life but whatever we are in , we always have a choice.

    Thanks everyone. . . .

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